What a trip it’s been! More than 10 years ago I had a spontaneous opening to my intuitive healing gifts. I remember at the beginning wondering what was happening and more importantly, what was I supposed to do about it.
During this last 10 years, I’ve healed and grown in ways I could never have imagined. My life experiences have changed from difficult and challenging to exciting and creative. However it was certainly not a straight, narrow or level road. The curves, the edges, the ups and downs have made for some scary moments and some thrilling adventures. Sometimes I felt like I was hanging upside down by a thread! There were times I felt lost even after following the directions. Other times I felt found when I didn’t even have a map. Ever minute has been a feast of experiences always making me more. All in all it’s been a great trip.
I must confess that more than once I was confused by the signs and messages I was receiving. In those moments of confusion, I questioned and undermined myself using the self-sabotaging ideas I developed early on in life. I would doubt or dismiss those messages convinced I couldn’t trust myself and my gifts. The old lesson of unworthiness ran deeply through my veins. More than once, a psychic delivered a message that I’m hard-headed, or that it’s as if I need to be hit over the head to get the point. I can’t disagree there have been times.
The Universe is always working in tandem with us to help us create what we desire, yet because I didn’t trust myself, I certainly couldn’t trust what I was receiving as messages directed for my guidance. I would hear the same messages every time I met with a psychic or healer. I couldn’t imagine how to follow those instructions, so I never did. The messages kept coming about the next step to take. I resisted, uncertain where to start.
Over and over again through the past 10 years, I have been told that I would write several books that will inspire and guide others. I had a hard time swallowing that. Who me? An author? Hardly. I couldn’t imagine what I would write about that would be helpful to others. At least, that was the sentiment for most of that time. Almost 3 months ago now, I was given this message again by a local intuitive here in Albuquerque. This time I could feel the urgency or nudge in a completely different way. It wasn’t a suggestion this time, but almost an admonishment of why I have not acted on this sooner. I was informed that it needed to be published in September. I felt the message stronger than ever before. This was part of what I came here to do, to use my gifts and skills to help others and serve humanity as a whole. Who was I to let my smallness stand in the way of the mission?
I remember discussing the message with my wife that same day and confessing I didn’t have a clue where to start or what to write about. Her wise advice was to just sit at the computer and start typing anything that comes without thinking of making it into a book. Maybe I could then pull pieces of things together that would feel right. Whew, I could that! No pressure.
I sat down a couple of days later and began the first of those writing sessions. It was the strangest experience. I had no idea what to write but then I just started typing sentences and paragraphs. I wrote ten or more pages and then my fingers just stopped typing. i had no thoughts. I wasn’t even sure what I had written. I got up, took a short walk around, got something to drink and then felt inspired to sit back down at the computer again just a couple of minutes later. The intuitive writing started again, my fingers just started typing. I had almost no idea what I was writing about, where it was going or whether it even followed what I had just written. This process repeated itself for the better part of five hours that day. It stopped suddenly. I felt wildly inspired and excited.
I continued this process for the next three days. Each day exactly like the previous one. I had no idea of what I was writing about, whether it made sense or flowed. I just showed up. After four days of writing I had written 135 pages on recovering life after childhood trauma. I was more than shocked, I was floored. It’s as if this process unleashed something. I had just finished the first very rough draft, when the ideas/outlines for two others appeared on the pages in front of me. It’s as if I needed to get this one out of the way in order to pull through the next books which offer the simple ideas, practical steps, and guidance of how to move forward and thrive. It’s my hope that while the first book is autobiographical in nature, it’s message is one of inspiration, hope, faith and trust that others can connect to.
There are thousands of us, Baby-Boomers who grew up with childhood dysfunction and trauma. Whether it was physical, or emotional abuse, poverty, neglect, addiction, violence or cultural rigidity, many of us were programmed with stories and beliefs that weren’t ours to carry into the future. I know there are many people who believe they are small, unworthy, and that their choices are limited. Others who need to know that even though they carry the effects of childhood trauma years later that it’s not too late to find freedom and peace.
I’m lucky to have many wonderful friends. One of whom is an editor. She agreed to edit my book and she’s working the final chapters now. Her skills, talents and insights have helped me to clarify messages and content that wasn’t complete and that I couldn’t see from my perspective. I can’t believe it. I’m nearly ready to self e-publish a book in early September. So I’m going to be sharing more of this story in the days ahead. I’m going to ask for help and support from my community in efforts to share this book far and wide so it reaches those who have given up hope, have lost faith and otherwise have stopped trying because they feel like they have no choices left. Now is the time for us to step into all we are; to boldly carry our truths into the light of day and to stand in the power of our uniqueness.
Life can be wonderful, exciting, fun, and adventurous. You can heal, thrive and enjoy all of life’s bounty! You can feel love, freedom, ease and peace regardless of the pain and darkness you carry today. Life can change quickly. The way is always easier when you heed the signs. What messages are you blind to? What have you dismissed because you don’t know where to start or feel uncertain? Take a step forward now!